A lady was picking through the frozen turkeys at the supermarket, but couldn't find one big enough for her family. She asked a shop assistant, "Do these turkeys get any bigger?" "No madam,” she replied, “they're dead.”

What do you call a boomerang that doesn't work? - A stick.

Why are there so many Smiths in the phone book?
They all have phones.

How does the person who drives the snowplough get to work in the mornings?

Why is it that when you're driving and looking for an address, you turn down the volume on the radio?