The main purpose of holding children's parties is to remind yourself that there are children more awful than your own.

We child proofed our homes, but they are still getting in.

Be nice to your kids. They will choose your nursing home.

Money isn't everything but it keeps you in touch with your children.

The kids drive me crazy; I drive them everywhere.

Kids in the front seat cause accidents; accidents in the back seat cause kids.

1, The Surgeon is his mother.
Apparently not many people consider the fact that the surgeon could be a woman.